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Keywords:

• oh the usual.

Comment: high as balls and crying about the hunger games.

Keywords:

• Are you good with a knife?

Comment: I need someone to perform amateur surgery.

Keywords:

• I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots

Comment: down the throats of those I loved.

Keywords:

• I'm eating your cookies as payment

Comment: for having to listen to you.

Keywords:

• I can't find the remote or the Doritos.

Comment: Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille

Keywords:

• She's like a pop up book from hell.

Keywords:

• One of the bamboo sticks broke

Comment: and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.

Keywords:

• she always winds up in the cupboards

Comment: it's nothing new.

Keywords:

• If we can put a man on the moon

Comment: I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.

Keywords:

• THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN

Comment: STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW.

Keywords:

• She started howling at the moon.

Comment: That was pretty much the deal breaker.

Keywords:

• I was just stopped at a stop sign

Comment: waiting for the moon to turn green.

Keywords:

• When the moon hits your eye

Comment: like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass

Keywords:

• My signature move is making guys wonder

Comment: why they bothered in the first place

Keywords:

• All I remember was yelling at him

Comment: "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"